I was born and raised in a small farming community in north central Ohio, and I grew up very lonely in a farming family where hard work, going to church, and community (aka “what the neighbors think”) were equally important.

Feelings were NEVER talked about.

You just did what you were told because, “I said so!”

I didn’t realize until after I was married, and had at least 2 or 3 of the 7 children I raised that I had been groomed from a very young age to be codependent.

Some of that grooming came from being raised in church where I was taught that “it’s better to give than to receive,” and that if I asked for anything, I was being selfish.

My interpretation of being a “sinner” was that I am broken and always will be.

And even years later when I joined 12-Step as an Al-Anon, the program reinforced that belief by insisting that every time I had something to say, I had to start by confirming how broken I was. “Hi, I’m Sue, I’m a codependent,” or “Hi, I’m Sue, I’m a [fill-in-the-blank with your brokenness of choice]!”

Being groomed to be codependent at home became very real the day I mistakenly told my mom that I had a feeling that the boy I was dating at the time was going to ask me to the prom, and I didn’t want to go.

She immediately pointed her finger at me and said,

“He’s a senior and you’re the one he’s been dating."

"If he asks you to the prom, YOU’RE GOING!”

Right then at 15 years old, I learned out loud what had been silently implied my entire life...that everyone else’s feelings (especially men’s) are more important than my own, and that I can’t want anything for myself, especially if it might hurt someone else’s feelings.

So, guess what?

That night when he asked me to wear his class ring to go “steady,” I HAD to take it, right?

I was trying to tell my mom that I didn’t like him enough to go to prom with him, but after that lecture she gave me, how could I even THINK about refusing his class ring???

Can’t disappoint him....

That night was the beginning of a long history of not being allowed to say no, feeling guilty and ashamed for standing up for myself, and finding my value through what I could do for, or being accepted by, others.

That lesson got me raped 6 months later and eventually led me into a 25-year verbally and emotionally abusive marriage.

When I finally came to believe in my own self-worth, and when I found my true voice (the one that didn’t yell and scream like a maniac and could calmly, but firmly, say no)....

....when I came to know that I know who I am, my life began a radical transformation back to the self that I had known deep down I was always meant to be....

....happy, joyous, and free no matter my outside circumstances.

I was involved in so many things to support myself: Al-Anon, church, bible study groups, I sang and played keyboard in the praise band, read every book, exercised and tried every diet...

I tried every way I knew to get the love I craved: I did what I was told, walked on egg shells, never rocked the boat, over-committed to prove my worth...

...but once I studied science-based modalities like NLP, hypnosis, and ultimately became trained as a certified advanced tapping practitioner, I learned how the mind works to keep us safe.

It wasn’t until I started this work that I could permanently transform my core beliefs about not being good enough and less than, into truly viewing myself as worthy of love and respect.

My value and self-worth no longer depend on what others think of me or on my level of productivity.

Even though I knew that truth all along intellectually, tapping is what has allowed me to forgive and accept past circumstances that kept my mind and body in a constant swirl of,

“But I’m right! And I demand justice because you were sooo WRONG!”

I sat in church for 50 years hearing forgiveness preached over and over, but could never connect with HOW to do that!

Tapping has finally made that possible for me.

It’s allowed me to let go of the past, and has allowed my head faith to sink into my heart.

The 2 words in scripture that always made the hair stand up on the back of my neck were, “beloved child.”

That was never me...until now.

Today, I KNOW that I am valuable just the way I am, and that no amount of doing (or not doing) is going to change my standing in the eyes of Source.

I am loved, not because I’m doing something.

I am a beloved child just because my heart is beating!

And so are YOU!